Clarkson reinstated after evidence emerges BBC producer he abused was 12 years old

Pride's Purge

(satire?)

The BBC has announced it will be reinstating its suspended presenter Jeremy Clarkson after convincing evidence emerged today that the BBC producer he allegedly abused was 12 years old.

Critics had accused BBC executives of turning a blind eye to decades long alleged serial abuse of up to 1,000 adult BBC producers by Jeremy Clarkson in the corporation’s changing rooms and studios, many of whom are alleged to have been as old as 53.

In a statement, however, a spokesperson for the BBC strongly denied the accusations, saying all of the abused producers were in fact well under the age of consent:

“There is absolutely no truth whatsoever to claims that Jeremy Clarkson has been abusing adult producers on BBC premises. After an internal investigation, we can confirm that every single one of Mr Clarksons victims were children – as is normal for BBC presenters. We have therefore decided – following standard BBC procedures –  to turn…

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